I feel like I'm slowly slipping back into the downward spiral of blogging dry spells. It's not like I've felt forced to blog this morning, but it's more like I'm losing my motivation. I've been wanting to start v-logging, but I also want to know how to comfortably do all the aspects of v-logging properly such as using a proper camera, implement pictures randomly throughout my videos while still hearing me talk, having a cover and end screen for my videos and also learn how to properly edit all my screw ups.
I also feel that I may not have the proper time to v-log and then keep up with all the editing on top of it. I LOVE watching and keeping up with Dawn @ Dawn Rambles, but I genuinely wonder how she has the time to keep up with all the v-logs on top of what seems to be her busy life. She seems to always have so much going on. She v-logs her way through stores, work and a lot of other public places and I'm just not too sure I'd be comfortable with that considering I'd feel like people would be like, "What the fuck is she doing?" I worry about shit like that...
Then there is a small part of me that wants to keep up the authenticity of blogging because I really do like the "journal" type space I have here, but then I also like how people can see me and hear me. I'm not sure what the ratio of readers is to the people who rather watch video/hear audio. So, I'm kind of stuck in a rut at the minute with what I want to do. I could always dedicate one day a week to v-logging and do a whole weeks worth of catching up in one video and see how that goes for now. *shrugs* I guess we will have to see.
Anyways, I do have a good story to tell you all. One night I was leaving work and I was stopped at a red light that had a crosswalk attached to it. It was raining out a little bit and I saw this lady standing at the crosswalk. She pressed the button like she wanted to cross and she was also talking on her cell phone. The next thing I know, she flashes her cell phone at me as if to get my attention. I rolled down my window slightly and asked her if she was okay.
She told me that she needed help and if I could give her a ride down to the gas station down the road. I told her okay and to get in. At first she asked me for five dollars and I told her that I only had my debit card on me. She insisted on informing me that there was an ATM in the gas station. I took out $40 and handed it to her and asked if she thought that would get her by. She then said, "Oh bless your heart, do you think I could also get a loaf of bread and a couple bags of chips?" She claimed that her kids haven't ate all day. So I agreed. With everything, I ended up "donating" around $53 to her cause.
We got back in the car and she was telling me how her ex left her high and dry with the two kids and she has a job but her job takes forever to get to and she has a busted, broken down car that is currently at the mechanic and has no gas. She asked me if I could take her to the mechanic real quick so that she could give him the full $40 to put in her gas tank. Here it is, a half hour past midnight and I'm thinking, 'what kind of fucking mechanic is open at this kinda time at night?'...despite my hesitation, I still agreed and said okay. She was guiding me toward the ghetto part of town and I'm not going to lie, I started to get a little nervous. Although, I was still trying to keep positive that her story was legit.
When we arrived at the destination. It seemed like a legit garage. There were two buildings on the property with several garage door bays. It did make me a little nervous that there was very little lighting and a boy sitting out on the front sign and all kinda of people just creeping about. She told me that she would be right back. As soon as she left my car, I locked my doors and pre-dialed 911 just in case I had to call it quick. She came right back out like she promised and I took her back to where she was staying at and that was it.
She thanked me what seemed to be sincerely and was on her way. As I drove home, I kept asking myself over and over - "did I really just do that?", "did she legit need help?" When I got home, I texted my boyfriend at work and told him to call me when he went on break. I told him the whole story and he got upset with me for picking up a random stranger. I told him that I felt like I did a good deed with good intention and if she lied about her situation, that she was going to hell. Jason told me that if it was a drug deal and a cop had been following us that I would have went down with her and potentially lost my job.
*sigh*
You just really can't help anyone anymore because you really can't trust people in today's day and age. It's sad - it really is.
Anyway...I'll see you guys in my next post. Have a good one.
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