My mind has been all over the place as of late.
I guess let me start with the most irrelevant thing on my mind and work my way up to most relevant.
Dale. Yes, I still think of him. Okay, so most of you don't know the whole back story behind him and I. When I was down and unemployed for about three years with severe anxiety and depression, this guy from the UK and I started talking on Skype regularly. The more we got to know each other, the more we talked. Well, two hour Skype calls turned into six hours and before we knew it, we were talking for sometimes twelve hours at a time...okay, everyday. See, he had severe anxiety and depression like I did...he had it worse than me. We fed off of each others company and it was becoming unhealthy. He started to fall for me and while he knew that I was involved in a serious, long-term relationship, he still held on to the hope that him and I would eventually be together. To say that I didn't have some sort of feelings for him would be a lie...probably more feelings than I'll ever actually let on. I'm not proud of it. It's probably my least proudest moment in my whole, entire life.
He was a BIG part of my life for a decent span of time and we got extremely close, but he knew all along that I would never leave Jason to be with him. Yeah, sure, there were points in Jason and I's relationship that I wasn't happy...okay, quite a few points. However, Jason is my forever person. Dogs get forever homes - I have a forever person and it's Jason. I love Jason with all my heart and soul and I would never trade him for the world...every time I think the problems in our relationship are so bad and that we should just end it, every road block in my head pops up telling me no. Hell, we've been this far (if only ya'll knew just how far we came to get to this point), we can go the rest of the way...together.
