A Rainy Sunday

Currently listening to - Let You Down by NF

Today feels like a very lazy, rainy Sunday even though I have to work today.  This post will probably consist of a lot of random ramblings of nothing in particular.  Not much has happened since my last post but my work meeting and work.  I'm just glad that my cold is finally letting up - it was truly awful.  Almost sixty dollars later to find out what works and what doesn't in order to get over this cold.  I started off with purchasing Theraflu (which to be fair, I haven't taken a lot of), Mucinex and Zzzquil.  After almost a whole bottle of Mucinex, I figured out that it wasn't going to break my cold.  The only thing out of that combo that worked good was the Zzzquil to help me sleep, but after talking with a co-worker of mine - she said to pick up some Delsym.  All I can say is, that shit is expensive but totally worth it.  I've been taking Delsym now for about two days and it has started to break up my cold really well. :)

Hopefully in a few more days, I'll be back to new...

I had my work meeting pertaining to the drama that has been going on in the work place.  Surprise, surprise that the root cause of the drama didn't show up to the meeting and the funny part of all this?  She had training class from 9am-12pm in the same building our meeting was in and our meeting was at 12pm.  Go figure.  We all said what needed to be said and we will see what the outcome of the situation is hopefully soon.  I know that I feel pretty good about the meeting and felt it was a pretty productive meeting.

IT'S BEEN AWHILE...

...since I could hold my head up high.  Sorry, I just had to - if anyone knows the band Staind, they will understand.  But seriously, it's been awhile since I've done a post.  I'm hoping in 2018 that I can do a lot more posting.  Things have just been so crazy with work, the holidays and some unnecessary drama that took place along the way.

Jason has been laid off for the past three weeks and goes back to work on the 4th of January.  We were able to manage a small Christmas.  I got some small gifts for Jason's parents and the individuals that I work with, my trainer and my supervisor.  I took Jason up to Greenville for the day the day after Christmas and we walked the park downtown and ate at his favorite Italian restaurant, Bellacinos.  We went over his parent's house for Christmas, opened presents and ate dinner.  I was so exhausted from work that I fell asleep twice.  I slept most of the time actually.

Work has been crazy.  Some of the staff are causing unnecessary drama with a whole bunch of rumors going around about me.  It's really unreal - I really thought that with the nature of the work, that this would be a very professional environment.  I'm getting extremely tired of all the drama because I don't do drama at all.  In fact, I told the supervisor that if the drama keeps up, I'm strongly thinking about putting in a transfer.  It would be a real shame as I love the individual's that I care for and my supervisor, but I'm not going to put up with this bullshit any longer.  It's just getting ridiculous now.

Then we had an individual come back home after a home visit for the holiday with a strand of virus that so far as gotten herself sick, another individual, myself and another staff member.  I've never lost so much waste out of myself in a days time.  It's was truly awful - I filled 4 grocery shopping bags full of vomit and even more than that coming from the back end.  I've lost a total of 12 pounds since 2 a.m Friday morning.  I'm just now trying to build myself back up with eating and it's still going right through me.  I haven't actually ate a solid meal since 10pm on Thursday night.

Then I'm having issues with my dad that I don't even really have the patience to go into honestly.  I'm just tired of wasting my breath, time and energy on him.  I'm tired of wasting my life away being upset and depressed because of him.  No matter what I say to that man (if you can even call him that), he either just doesn't get it or doesn't want to get it.  I really feel like he is in major denial and doesn't want to own up to a single thing he's put me through.  I'm tired of getting my hopes up with him as I've been doing that since my parents got divorced.  At this point, it's a lost hope.  I need to move on with my life.  I'm tired of staying in my feelings and it bogging down my life while everyone else stays content in their own situation.

Jason and I are planning on trying for a baby in three years time and I'm not allowing any leeway for bullshit in my life anymore.  I don't just have myself to think about anymore, but my future child.  Jason and I are going to put away as much money as we possibly can from now all the way until the next three years in preparation of having this baby.  I will do a separate post regarding our plans to have a baby because this post is filled with a lot of negativity and Jason and I's plans to have a baby shouldn't even share the same blog post such as this one that is filled with negativity. 

I'm feeling better at least, but I'm not doing anything until after Wednesday.  I'm using my two days off to sleep and get rest.  I hope you all having a wonderful and safe New Years Eve and Day.  I know I will have a safe one because I will be working... \o/

SORRY FOR THE DELAYED POST

Ugh, it's been crazy around here lately.  I was sick for the past two weeks.  I just thought I had a common cold and that I would get over it on my own, but apparently that wasn't the case.  I tried to continue going to work, but one night while at work, I started feeling kinda funny.  I went to the bathroom, came back and continued to pick orders then my vision and hearing started playing up on me, so I stood there for a minute and it wasn't getting better.  A co-worker looked at me and asked me if I was okay and I told him I wasn't feeling that well.

He forced me to sit down and he fanned me with a folder until they called the first-responder's on me.  Two guys plus my boss came up to me and took my blood pressure.  It was a little low.  To say the least, I went home.  One of the first-responders told me to go to the doctor in the morning, no matter how I felt to get checked out.  Getting a doctors note would also cover my ass.

So I did just that.

NOT THE MOST IDEAL NEWS BUT MOVING ONWARD

Unfortunately, I received the news the other day that the disability board decided to not move me forward in the hiring process for the support worker position.  Though I'm greatly disappointed by this news, I still have the opportunity at the Walgreen's Distribution Center.  As far as I know, both my supervisors are still going to recommend me for hire.  Despite how anxious and nervous I am that I won't make it in the department they put me in, I'm going to try and go into this with a positive mind.  I try not to be negative, but there is also apart of me that wants to realistic, you know?  I struggled to make it in SPS and now they want to move me into a more difficult department that is like SPS, just harder.

All I can do is try to give it my best shot.  I mean, I really can't say for sure how it's going to work out until I try it anyway, right?

I'M SICK &+ THINKING ABOUT BEGINNING MEAL PREPS

I took a nap yesterday and woke up extremely ill.  I had a headache, stomachache, sore throat, stuffy nose - you name it, I had it.  I'm still sick, but I have to work tonight.  I'm going to try and just trudge through it because I have tomorrow night off.  I'm hoping that once I start work, I'll feel a little better.  If I feel that bad and they ask me if I want to go home, I might just do so...it all depends on how I feel and if they even ask me.  If I feel THAT bad, I might tell them if they can afford to VTO (volunteered time off) me, then I'd like to go home.

Last night was terrible.  I tossed and turned all night and was up every hour, on the hour. :(

I can't seem to get comfortable enough to sleep for any length of time today either.  I had plans of staying in bed all day, so that I would be rested up to make it through this shift tonight, but that didn't work all too well.  I was up every five minutes peeing.

I've been trying to pump Gatorade in my system.  I have cough drops but no tissues, so I'm using toilet paper instead.  I went looking for some sort of cold medicine and had to throw four bottles of it out due to it being expired and only had one left that only had a little bit left in it.  I'm managing though.  Got plenty of Gatorade, some cough drops, and Jason bought me some more cold medicine and Vicks Rub.

Money is tight, but before I laid down this morning, Jason told him he was going out and that he would be back.  I said, "Okay." and laid down.  He came home and put a Walgreen's bag next to me.  I asked him what was in it and he told me Vicks Rub and cold medicine.  I told him that we couldn't really afford that, but he was being persistent that I needed it.  How sweet is he?!

I'll be spending my Monday off in bed, sick. 

I'm also hoping to hear something back on whether or not I got that job soon - hopefully tomorrow (would be nice).  I texted my temp agency boss just a bit ago and asked her what happens if they don't recommend me for hire.  I've almost put all my hours in to get considered.  I only have two weeks left...I'm kind of freaking out now to be perfectly honest, especially with Jason being laid off for the whole month of December.  Keeping my fingers crossed! 

Along with budgeting real tight this month, I want to start meal prepping...and for a few good reasons.  For one, we will be able to eat real meals without worrying about having nothing to eat because we have too much going on to prepare meals every night.  I'd probably prepare them when I have a day off and do five days worth of meals - breakfast, lunch and dinner.  One day a week will be a "cheat night" where we can go get food out.  You still need that kind of stuff in your life.

It will keep us within a better budget instead of wasting and throwing dollars in the trash (hopefully).  It will allow us to eat healthier.  I came across a FB video that got me really excited about meal prepping.

Just some of the clips for meal preps I want to try.

I have to figure out how to accommodate Jason in the meal prep because he doesn't like most of the things that I like to eat, so this will prove to be challenging.  

I'm going to lay down for a few before work.  Hopefully I can come home early...we'll see. :(