HAD MY JOB SHADOW YESTERDAY

Well, first and foremost - HAPPY SUNDAY!  I have today off, so I'm just going to do some light cleaning and then relax.  I got about four more days of class and then I begin working with the ladies!  I'm working with 4 lovely ladies who are all 50+ years old.  I was a bit nervous about my home visit yesterday, but once I got through the door, I was fine!  They were very welcoming and made me feel right at home.

One of them wanted to show me her bedroom which all of their bedrooms are very pretty and well kept.  But when this one particular individual showed me her room, I spotted Hello Kitty and told her how much I love Hello Kitty.  Funny thing was, I already knew prior to my visit that she liked animals, so I wore my dress shoes that have a kitty on the tops of them and I told her, "Look at my shoes!" and I pointed to them and she got all excited.  It was SO cute!  After I had gotten home that afternoon, I get a call from my co-worker and she left me a voicemail and said, "Her sister wants to see your shoes because she keeps talking about how much she likes them!" So, I sent my co-worker a picture of them and she is going to try and hunt them down.  Haha!  I kinda figured that she would like my shoes...

And so during the visit, my co-worker informed me of pretty much all the general care of the ladies and how to use the computer and the kind of routine that they are use to, etc.  I took notes for my own personal use and then had a paper that I had to fill out to bring back on Monday about the kind of things that I observed while at the visit.

My visit was only 4 hours, but I learned a lot and in just that short amount of time, I fell in love with them all!  Before I left, I whispered over to my co-worker and said, "Do they all like hugs?" and she said, "Oh yeah!  You can go give them a hug!" and I turned the corner and said, "Who wants a hug!?" and they all got excited!  It felt so good!  They asked if I was coming back tomorrow and I said, "Nooo, not tomorrow, but I'll be back to work with you all after next week if that's okay with everyone!" And they all shook their head in agreement.  It was truly heartwarming.  <3

So yeah, I have 4 more days of classes and then hopefully I'll start Friday with actually working at the house.  I'm really looking forward to this.

Sorry there are no pretty pictures to look at today - this is just an quick update post today. XD

HAVING IT ROUGH LATELY

I'm just really beside myself as of late.  My bipolar and depression is acting up real bad and I've been engaging in behavior that I'm not particularly proud of.  Have you ever done something that you knew would get you into serious trouble if anyone found out?  That's the situation I'm currently in and not that I'm trying to use it as an excuse, but it's because of my bipolar.  I'm just trying to control what I'm doing - I don't want to tell anyone about it if I can control it.  The guilt that I'm enduring is already enough punishment.  I should have stopped what I was doing after the first time and I promised myself I would, but it happened a second time today.  I'm just really disappointed in myself.

My current medication for my bipolar/depression is just making me excessively sleepy and irritable, but the doctor doesn't seem to think that the medication is causing my issues.  My bipolar is something fierce as of late.  However, these problems didn't start until I started taking the medication and nonetheless, he wants me to double up on it.  I'm not doubling up on it.  I was honestly better without the medication.  What I need to do is hurry up and get hired on at Walgreen's so I can get benefits and see a professional for what I'm going through.  The reason I'm just seeing a general doctor is that I can't afford to go see a professional at the moment, but I think my general doctor is reaching the full capacity of his knowledge on mental health.  He can't prescribe controlled substances for mental issues and he has pretty much put me on every medication short of the controlled substance class for mental issues.

I'm getting real tired of what I'm going through.  I desperately need a professionals opinion.  I'm tired of living this way.  None of the medication I've been put on really helps.  I've had a couple of medications that have made me feel stable for like the first day or two of being on them, but once the medication got into my system, I just went back to my same ol' self.

THE WEEKEND IS HERE!

Well - I made it through last night.  I wasn't really feeling that well when I arrived to work, but after being there for about an hour, I seemed to feel a little better.  Of course I got put on a shitty work station last night.

There are stations that are a lot easier than others.  I pretty much can handle all the stations with the exception of a select few.  The stations that I have difficulty with are the stations where you have to properly stack the items as they are bulky and if you don't stack them properly, when the tote is finished, the machine won't retract the tote back to be sent off because it's too high.  The products have to stay under a certain line in the tote so that the lid can close the tote off when complete.

I'm just glad the weekend is here honestly.  I'm sore, tired, and a little annoyed to be honest.  For the past week I've been asking to change my schedule from the 10 hour shifts, 4 days a week to the 8 hour shifts, 5 days a week because I'm having a difficult time managing the 10 hour shifts.  They have been giving me the run around trying to get an answer out of them and when I brought it back up today, I got, "Just keep your schedule the same for right now".  NO.  I don't want to keep my schedule the same for "right now".  I wanted to start working the 8 hour shifts starting this Sunday night (which is the start of my work week).

My medications make me excessively sleepy and my back has been suffering working the 10 hours as well as my pick rate is suffering because of it.