IT'S BEEN AWHILE...

...since I could hold my head up high.  Sorry, I just had to - if anyone knows the band Staind, they will understand.  But seriously, it's been awhile since I've done a post.  I'm hoping in 2018 that I can do a lot more posting.  Things have just been so crazy with work, the holidays and some unnecessary drama that took place along the way.

Jason has been laid off for the past three weeks and goes back to work on the 4th of January.  We were able to manage a small Christmas.  I got some small gifts for Jason's parents and the individuals that I work with, my trainer and my supervisor.  I took Jason up to Greenville for the day the day after Christmas and we walked the park downtown and ate at his favorite Italian restaurant, Bellacinos.  We went over his parent's house for Christmas, opened presents and ate dinner.  I was so exhausted from work that I fell asleep twice.  I slept most of the time actually.

Work has been crazy.  Some of the staff are causing unnecessary drama with a whole bunch of rumors going around about me.  It's really unreal - I really thought that with the nature of the work, that this would be a very professional environment.  I'm getting extremely tired of all the drama because I don't do drama at all.  In fact, I told the supervisor that if the drama keeps up, I'm strongly thinking about putting in a transfer.  It would be a real shame as I love the individual's that I care for and my supervisor, but I'm not going to put up with this bullshit any longer.  It's just getting ridiculous now.

Then we had an individual come back home after a home visit for the holiday with a strand of virus that so far as gotten herself sick, another individual, myself and another staff member.  I've never lost so much waste out of myself in a days time.  It's was truly awful - I filled 4 grocery shopping bags full of vomit and even more than that coming from the back end.  I've lost a total of 12 pounds since 2 a.m Friday morning.  I'm just now trying to build myself back up with eating and it's still going right through me.  I haven't actually ate a solid meal since 10pm on Thursday night.

Then I'm having issues with my dad that I don't even really have the patience to go into honestly.  I'm just tired of wasting my breath, time and energy on him.  I'm tired of wasting my life away being upset and depressed because of him.  No matter what I say to that man (if you can even call him that), he either just doesn't get it or doesn't want to get it.  I really feel like he is in major denial and doesn't want to own up to a single thing he's put me through.  I'm tired of getting my hopes up with him as I've been doing that since my parents got divorced.  At this point, it's a lost hope.  I need to move on with my life.  I'm tired of staying in my feelings and it bogging down my life while everyone else stays content in their own situation.

Jason and I are planning on trying for a baby in three years time and I'm not allowing any leeway for bullshit in my life anymore.  I don't just have myself to think about anymore, but my future child.  Jason and I are going to put away as much money as we possibly can from now all the way until the next three years in preparation of having this baby.  I will do a separate post regarding our plans to have a baby because this post is filled with a lot of negativity and Jason and I's plans to have a baby shouldn't even share the same blog post such as this one that is filled with negativity. 

I'm feeling better at least, but I'm not doing anything until after Wednesday.  I'm using my two days off to sleep and get rest.  I hope you all having a wonderful and safe New Years Eve and Day.  I know I will have a safe one because I will be working... \o/